I can think of what needs to be done here:

-Your son is overwhelmed by living with such a consuming and scary disease. Every day with no break. Sometimes kids just want to be kids. What are YOU doing to help him manage? Can YOU take over his management for a while until he comes around? Perhaps he just wants a break.

-Focus on the immediate short term. Tell him that if he wants to look healthy, play sports, go to college, and get/keep a girlfriend, he must be in control of his diabetes. If he ends up in a coma on a date, that might be the end of his relationship if not his life. Don’t allow him to stay overnight with his friends unless he can show you that he will take care of himself. It’s YOUR job to reinforce this. If he tests his blood glucose, he can go out, etc.

-Really talk to him. Find out his fears and wishes. Look for diabetes camps and/or diabetic support groups for teens in your area. I am assuming he has Type 1 diabetes, which is overall fairly uncommon. Perhaps he just needs to meet another teen living with the same issues he does? Diabetes (especially Type 1) can be a very hard disease to manage and cope with. Your son must be his pancreas 24-7 while his friends don’t have to think twice about such things. He may feel sick, depressed, and overwhlemed by the constant threat of immediate AND long term complications and early death. He may really benefit from a mental health professional who is familiar with diabetes in teens. To often people "blame the diabetic" without giving them the resources to cope with such a life-changing disease.

This is my advice. You can always try taking him to a local hospital to show him "diabetes complications" but in my opinion, that is not necessarily the best answer.

It’s like showing an alcoholic what alcoholism does to a family. They obviously are aware of the situation, what they need is *support* and tools to cope with and overcome their problem.

I believe there is a program called "Cumberland House" that helps teens with (primarily Type 1) diabetes with similar problems as your son. What you refer to is quite common.

Lastly, there is only so much you can do. In the end, he will have to come to terms with his condition and learn to manage it if he wants to live some sort of "normal" life. Unfortunately with diabetes, there really are no choices. Some kids do end up in and out of the hospital throughout their short life, and yes, some of those kids *do* die. Some people simply just can’t cope or manage. But I do not blame the diabetic, I blame the fact that we do not have a cure for this horrible disease yet. So many ignorant doctors and nurses have no idea how hard it is to live with Type 1 diabetes. My advice to them is to spend a week with a Type 1 child/teen, and then tell me how easy they think it is. Insulin does not replace a pancreas.

Whatever you do, support your son, do not blame him.

I wish your family all the best, and please try to get your son some help.
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Pre-med student with an interest in autoimmune diseases (specifically Type 1 diabetes).

I know this is very hard for you to not be able to control this, but please keep in mind that he’s a teenager and just wants to be normal. It may be years before he really starts to take care of himself, depending on his personality. Only kids who are naturally very disciplined usually start right off the bat, because taking care of yourself is a challenge 24/7 and complicated, it’s no easy thing. I’ve had Type 1 for 24 years and I still don’t have it down yet! Sending him to a diabetes kids’ camp could also be beneficial. http://www.diabetes.org/communityprograms-and-localevents/diabetescamps/nationwide.jsp
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Or talk to a diabetic educator. Every hospital should have one and there are outpatient clinics as well. They should have some great pictures.

I’d be happy to talk about all of the ulcers, amputations, renal failures and blindness that I run into in my career all the time. Diabetes is nothing to take lightly and as young as he is, his chances of having complications like this by the time he reaches adulthood are higher than an adult with a late onset of diabetes.

Good luck, mom! You’re doing the right thing.
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RN